It Wasn’t Supposed To Be This Way

It wasn't supposed to be this way

ER visits at 3am

Hospital stays

Away from my firstborn, missing out on so much.

Mourning what could have been

Wishing it was easier

At the same time

It wasn't supposed to be this way

My Benji boy is alive, not dead.

There are doctors and nurses available to care for him. We aren't alone in this.

My firstborn gets to grow up with a brother, and I pray a compassionate insight into the medically needy person and family

I rejoice bc what is, is a miracle

Lord, my rock, you've given me suffering and opportunity. I take them both with sadness and a faith that says, "You are good and wise, and so while it hurts, I trust you."