Inevitable Dissatisfaction
I recently went on a walk.
Right in the center of my neighborhood is a small bird sanctuary. It adds a touch of undisturbed nature to the very suburban city in which I live. On one side, the sun filters through a mass of trees, casting cones of light on the road and my face. On the other side, the sunlight directly hits the many large, spade-shaped leaves, loose twisting vines, and dandelions. Most days, I marvel at the greens and browns of the square of land, but not that day. That day, I looked at the light hitting the long leafy vine climbing up the tree towards some invisible goal, and I just felt sad. What followed this feeling was frustration. This was not because I had grown used to or bored with the sight of nature. I am sure I will walk out there again and smile at the little yellow flowers dancing in the wind, but that day, I knew what so many of us deny; this place, broken by sin, is not my home. That day staring at the light kissed leaves I found myself longing for that day when I will be whole and with the one whom my soul loves. I live in this crazy tension of “now but not yet.” I am His and He is mine, I have His Spirit, but I don’t get to be with Him yet.
I prefer to feel happy on my morning and evening walks. I prefer to see beauty and be inspired and encouraged by it. But I know that won’t always be the case. Inevitably, I will feel the strain of that tension and be dissatisfied. Dissatisfaction is good, tension is good because it reminds me to seek the Creator and not be wholly satisfied by the creation. It reminds me that this world is a dry and weary land where there is no life-giving water, and I run to the well of living water and drink deeply. Jesus made me His own, so I will press forward.
Philippians 3:12-21
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.16 Only let us hold true to what we have attained. Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us. For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.
